With the development of internet technology, building good relationships with people has become more important. This is mainly due to the fact that social connections – be it on a physical or virtual basis – play a huge role in a person’s life. Still, this does not mean that building relationships always result in positive results.
As people spend time together, they learn to adjust conferring to a certain situation. Apparently, this is somewhat connected to psychological habits which make a person either lonely or poor. Below are six of them.
#1. The Inability to Say No
This is where you have more of another person’s tasks on your to-do list than your very own. From helping to consulting to buying, all of these simply waste your own precious time. And the sad reality here is if you ask these people what they have done for you, their answer is silence. Because they have not done anything extraordinary for you, so it is best to focus on your own priorities.
#2. Always Looking for Approval
Sometimes, you just do not feel confident or you simply try to obtain approval from people. For you, their opinions matter the most than your own thinking. You will even go the extra mile just to earn your friends, colleagues, or bosses’ approval and praise. This is great if they really approve of you, but if it is the other way around, then you are likely to feel depressed. The key here is to determine which area you are good at. Above all, you must have a mindset that does not require you to seek other people’s approval.
#3. Smoothing Things Over
Here, you are the kind of person who does not settle for an argument or debate. You do not even try to complain even if you know you are right. Well, hate to break it to you but being a good guy comes with a toll. It is only an illusion. If you do not try to assert your opinion, then nobody in this world will know that you really have one. Do not rob yourself of having an opinion. Let others hear what you have to say.
#4. Blaming Yourself for Other People’s Emotions
Have you apologized to someone just because you did not fulfil his/her request? This is acceptable at the start but if you have made this a habit, then clearly, it is wrong. Just because you are not able to meet a person’s standard (e.g. expectations, feelings, thoughts, etc.), it does not mean you owe them anything.
Of course not! It is about time that you put down the weight on your shoulders. You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings, problems, and even emotions. Let them fix their own skeletons in the closets.
#5. Not Setting Boundaries
This is where over-familiarization often happens. You are always ready and armed to do everything for someone. If your friend has a problem, you are instantly there to help even if he is across town. You see, there is nothing wrong with being helpful. You just have to understand that you also have a life, and it is something that you should prioritize. Set boundaries and determine which is which.
#6. Doing Things Even if You Do Not Like Them
Imagine yourself being stuck in someone’s request. Is it quite bothersome? If so, then why did you not decline in the first place? That is because you think you have the time and energy to do it when it is the other way around. You have to separate your own personal space for work, happiness, and rest, among others. Do not easily say yes to a friend’s invitation when, in reality, you have much more important things to do.