One woman has had to suffer the bad side to looking attractive.
Jane Curnow is a 51-year-old fitness model. She claims she is too attractive that she can’t have female friends because they’re jealous of her looks. Jane realized this was an issue after the dissolution of her second marriage. As a single woman once more, she would go to bars with friends and would receive all the attention.
“After my second marriage ended, I entered the single scene and quickly realized just how much attention men were giving me,” the Australian revealed to News.com.au.
“I’d get constant looks and comments and felt like men were undressing me with their eyes.
“Women were (and still are) jealous and resentful towards me, but at the time I didn’t put it down on my looks and their insecurities.”
That’s a natural reaction. While in a relationship, we might briefly feel jealous of our partner’s female friends. However, this won’t last long if our friendships are healthy, we can get over this slight hump. We realize too that this is irrational. We can’t though, do anything to banish someone else’s insecurities.
Curnow was surprised when this envy expanded to her close group of female friends: “I’ve lost many friends and always thought it was my fault,” she said.
“I didn’t attribute it to my looks until my 30s when so-called friends walked out on me in bars because of the male attention I received.”
Jane was diagnosed with depression at 32. It took eight years for her to make the connection between her appearance and her feelings. By this time, she’d sadly attempted suicide twice. According to Jane, her new-found passion for bodybuilding has saved her life. It’s very admirable that she has overcome these inner demons and found this love.
“On reflection, I realized the power of my appearance, but the resulting feelings were not of pride or happiness, but of incredible pressure,” she said.
“I asked myself; If I’m as good looking as everyone says, then why am I so unhappy? Why aren’t I living the dream?”
Indeed, why isn’t she? So, to help her see what others saw, Jane became obsessed with looking as fabulous as humanly possible. Still, she wasn’t happy: “If you don’t love yourself without the body and looks, this doesn’t change when you do. In fact, it only highlights how much you hate the person inside.
“You end up attaching your self-worth to the outside which is the wrong way around.”
Jane’s life only began to change when she started working out. She beat depression in her 40’s. Despite claiming she cant’ have friends, Jane is now working as a fitness and life coach. She prides herself on training women to embrace their inner and outer beauty.