Taking selfies after having s*x has been sort of a revolution on social media. Much of the pictures that are taken show happy couples embracing after passionate lovemaking, which is cringe-worthy in its own right. Many of the moments shared on Instagram and Snapchat are supposed to serve the purpose of bragging about the s*x. But, not all parties are always on the same page. There is often one partner who is more excited about the endeavor than the other.
The moments after s*x can either be beautiful or uncomfortable. This is usually dependent on how well you know a person, as a year-long relationship is going to look a lot different than a one-night stand. The following pictures deal with the cringe-worthy side of the #aftersexselfie movement. Many of them show the moment right after s*x or the following morning, where one partner’s excitement is notably different than the other. These also serve as a public service of sorts, as it appears that young women are blacking out in record numbers. There are multiple cases ahead that show just how forgetful some people can be when they wake up after a night on the town.
It’s a running theme with these pictures that a lot of the girls tend to forget who they just had s*x with. These were likely taken the morning after–unless the memory is particularly short–and they almost always involve the girl forgetting who is lying next to her. It’s not that guys aren’t having the same amount of anonymous s*x, but they at least pretend to know who they’re with.
Apart from the amount of hair on this guy’s chest, there are a couple notable parts of this photo. First, there is a 70% chance that the guy is texting one of his buddies about how fabulous his new girlfriend is; that little smirk betrays his intentions. The second is the cup in his hand. That looks like a coffee cup to me, and if that’s the case, then it means he went to get coffee and came back to bed. If she doesn’t know who he is, that would have been a perfect time to sneak out (assuming she’s at his place). If he’s in her bed, then leaving and coming back is a psycho move that should be punishable by internet shaming.
14. Think Or Know?
This is a tough look for the gentleman taking the photo, but you have to have a bit of self-awareness here. If you’re going to post a humble-brag Snapchat like this, then you have to be aware of how your face looks. Sure, he probably didn’t consider the fact that this Snapchat would be broadcast to the entire internet, but you still have to take a moment to consider your own face.
This emo side-part, the patchy beard, and the general low-key-school-shooter vibe coming off this guy is evident to begin with, but the caption of, “Think she’s dead” is the cherry on top. As far as we know, this Snapchat is not linked to any murders, but it wouldn’t be the most shocking news in the world to hear it was.
13. Excitement VS. Instant Regret
This picture displays the classic societal trope that men are way more pumped about having s*x than women are. This young fella couldn’t wait to Snapchat all of his friends, bragging about the s*x he just had. The girl he had s*x with, on the other hand, is trying to remember the fastest way out of his apartment.
This guy could be a victim of poor timing, but whatever this girl is watching on her phone appears to be infinity times more interesting than hanging out with her just-had-s*x buddy. This is the face of a guy who says “phew, nice. High five!” after finishing and then immediately pulls out his phone to document the occasion. After all, did you really have s*x if you didn’t tell all of your friends about it?
12. That Was Fun! Now Get Out
This may or may not be the same two people from the first photo on this list, which would be perfect. That chest hair and hairline seems pretty familiar. If you’ll remember, the girl was wondering the identity of the guy in bed next to her. Apparently, the guy doesn’t care who she is and just wants her to leave.
Spending the night with a girl for the first time can be intimidating, especially the morning after. Everybody poops, but nobody wants to take it out on the toilet with a hookup still lying on their bed. It’s even worse if you’re at someone else’s place. Pooping in front of a significant other is at least six months down the road, making the in-between difficult to navigate. By this picture, I think it’s fair to determine that this guy is pumped about the s*x, but ready to move on to the bodily function chapter of his day.
I need some guidance here. Is this racist? Is it racist to assume that she’s being racist just because the guy she regretted having s*x with was black? This is a minefield that’s just begging for some “well, actually” in the comments.
Whether she meant this as a racist post or not, it’s not a great visual. Cara definitely had to do some backpedalling with her friends after this one. “No, not because he was black. It’s because he snores really loud and I couldn’t get any sleep.”
For what it’s worth, I like to think that this one is not racist. I think we’re missing some context here and that there’s another reason she was regretting having s*x with him. When it’s all said and done, though, she escaped the roasting of that ridiculous face she has on because of the mental gymnastics we’re going through to try to figure out if it’s racist.
Update: sending this to the University of “Is This Problematic?” Lab for further testing. Will update with more information.