Naked Attraction, the most Channel-4-in-the-90s Channel 4 show of all time, where contestants take all their clothes off and stand naked in front of each other in an effort to win a date. Now, in 2016 we have dating apps and websites like Tinder.
For some people Tinder seems hard, but, it is an app where you can rapidly swipe through hundreds of people and instantly judge them on their face.
Our first dater is Aina. Aina is 32 and harder than me. I can tell this. I can tell this immediately. Aina can Fuck Me Up. There is a montage where she giggles in a bar with a friend – “she’s a strong girl so she’ll need a strong man” – does some freaky yoga shit and listens to a song on large padded headphones in a dimly lit studio. This is the shape of the person we will come to know. This is everything Aina is. She likes music and strength. She wants a man who likes music and strength.
(I’ll be honest: these dating show montages always freak me the fuck out, because if they had to make one about me, what would it be like? “Joel, 29, is a writer,” a voiceover says, while I just sit in the reception area at work [can’t sit near my colleagues] and just hold my head in my hands, then flick to Twitter. “And when he’s not writing, he’s—” what? What do I do? Would a tightly-edited two-minute video of me playing Rocket League, avoiding cleaning the bathroom and trying to fit into my trousers turn potentials dates on or off? It is impossible to know.)